


May I have this dance?

by ca_te



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dancing Dwarves, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Prompt Fill, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 15:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dancing lesson might help healing a pining heart</p>
            </blockquote>





	May I have this dance?

**Author's Note:**

> 2145 words. Rating: PG:13. This was inspired by [this](http://kaciart.tumblr.com/post/47672658392) beautiful fanart by kaciart. Thanks to Vikki for coming up with the title! It has been a while since I last wrote Fili/Kili and I've never written a durincest fic so long, I hope you'll like it! <3

The wall was cold against his back, snow falling thick outside. Kili welcomed the coldness, grounding and fierce against the warmth of the tavern and the longing vaporizing inside of him until he was sure it had slipped right into the marrow of his bones. He had tried, he really had, mead and a few dances with one of the tavern’s lasses. She was cute enough, red beard neatly trimmed and green eyes, but her hands had been soft, her lips too full. Kili knew too well what the crux of the problem was, though. She hadn’t been Fili.

Kili closed his eyes against the familiar mixture of guilt and longing that punctually clogged his mind and heart when he thought of Fili. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t tried – to suffocate these feelings that had tumbled over the boundaries of brotherhood a long time before. It hadn’t worked, though. In retrospective, how could it? Fili had always been so much more than a brother; they were _soulmates_ , Kili was sure of that. He could feel it in his bones, had felt it for decades, since he was old enough to process things, to hold onto Fili’s slightly larger hand whenever he could. It wasn’t a problem back then, they were brothers after all and no one had thought ill of the two of them being attached at the hip. It was natural and to Kili it was as simple and necessary as breathing. The difficulties came with age. Their bodies changed and filled, their needs started to bubble under the surface of their skin. And Kili learned soon enough that the only thing he wanted was Fili – those azure eyes of his, those strong and callous hands, that brave heart – all of him. Kili was by then well into puberty and there was no way he could deny how his blood sang and his cock stirred whenever he sparred with Fili, the blond constantly in and out of Kili’s personal space, or when they worked in the forge, Fili shirtless and achingly perfect.

The mead was thick on is tongue and Kili welcomed it gulping down a mouthful. It wasn’t long since he had been allowed to drink at the tavern with all the other dwarves for the first time. When Thorin had allowed Fili to join him and Dwalin, Kili had hated being left behind, at home, just waiting for Fili’s return. Being unable to be with Fili and to experiment the same things his older brother was trying out felt wrong. They had always done everything together and being forced to stay behind hurt. When Thorin had finally allowed Kili to come along and offered him his first flagon of mead, Fili had been there to laugh with and to lean against as they haltingly made their way back home and under the covers of their shared bed. That night Kili discovered that alcohol had the unfortunate side-effect of sharpening his attraction for his older brother until it was akin to a double edged sword. And it cut and cut deep within him with every smile from Fili.

Kili sighed heavily, his gaze inevitably travelling back to his brother, laughing with Bifur and Ori near the counter. Fili was undeniably gorgeous, long braided hair kissed by the fire light, beads glistening among a sea of gold. Kili thought of himself, not even an a hint of stubble, way more adept to using a bow than wielding a sword or working in the forge. He was a weird dwarf, he knew that, and setting it all aside he still was Fili’s brother. Kili tightened his grip on his now empty flagon – why had his heart been so fool? Why fate had gone and decided he belonged to his brother when everyone would consider it sick and wrong and despicable? Not that Kili cared about what other people thought, but Fili, being Thorin’s heir, might. Not that he would harbor that kind of feelings for his little brother, wouldn’t he?

Kili was considering whether getting up and ordering some more mead to alleviate the jumble of emotions fighting in his chest, when Fili turned slightly from where he was standing and their gazes met. Fili cocked an eyebrow and for a foolish instant Kili feared his brother could read it all on his face, the need, the confusion, the primal and burning desire. His heart jumped up in his throat, lodged there like a stone, as Fili moved across the room, reaching for him, a small smile on his lips.

“What are you doing here all on your own, Kee?”

_Watching you and wanting you so much every single bone inside of me hurts?_

“Nothing much.”

Fili tilted his head to the side before sitting down on the bench next to him, thigh brushing against Kili’s and sending a shiver down the younger dwarf’s spine.

“You seem so pensive tonight. You should have fun. Why don’t you go and have another dance with that lass from before?”

Kili knew his older brother had only the best of intentions, still anger spiked hot inside of him. Why did Fili have to be always so reasonable and so kind? Why couldn’t he just see that Kili didn’t care for any lasses?

“Don’t want to.”

“But you love dancing.”

Kili glared at his brother.

“If you care so much about dancing why aren’t you out there?”

Fili recoiled slightly at the venom in Kili’s tone.

“I don’t know how to dance, Kee…you know that.”

Kili knew, as he knew he shouldn’t snap at Fili for being a good older brother. It wasn’t Fili’s fault if Kili had fallen for him in between jokes and fights and nights spent sleeping in the same bed as when they were kids.

“I am sorry.”

Fili shook his head, one warm hand coming to rest on Kili’s forearm. The simple weight of it was enough to make Kili feel grounded, to make him wonder how it would be like to be touched by Fili, how it would be like to have it splayed on the small of his back as they danced. The idea hit him like a punch, leaving him aching and making him reckless.

“We should dance.”

“Kee…”

“I could teach you, Fee.”

Fili studied him, puzzlement painted on his gorgeous features. But Kili had learned over the years how to play his older brother just right, so he leaned forward, pout already in place.

“Please, Fee. Wouldn’t you do it for me?”

As expected, Fili sighed but there was no sign of aggravation in his eyes when he stood from the bench.

“All right, but only one dance.”

Kili bounced to his feet, giddy with excitement, and took Fili’s hand into his, dragging him towards the center of the room. His heart stuttered against his ribcage as Kili guided Fili’s hands into position. He tried not to think too much about the slight blush dusting his older brother’s cheeks. It might have been due to the heat from the fire after all. At first Kili mostly dragged Fili along, demonstrating the simpler steps without minding the music. The look of concentration on Fili’s face was so adorable Kili had to use all of his willpower not to stand up on his toes and kiss him right there. He tried to focus on the solid weight of Fili’s hands, instead, on the small smiles his brother flashed him whenever he managed to get something right.

“It’s fun isn’t it?” If his voice was slightly breathless, Kili tried not to dwell on it and hoped that Fili wouldn’t notice it. Fili hummed in response, his hand instinctively fisting the back of Kili’s tunic as Kili experimentally swirled him around. Fili made a startled sound, but he smiled big and shiny and pulled Kili closer, probably to stop the room from spinning. It made Kili’s heart beat as a war drum nonetheless.

“It is!”

Kili smiled at the excitement in Fili’s voice and started to move following the rhythm of the song playing. Fili followed easily, a quick learner as always. It was so easy to get lost in the music, in the movement, in the heady feeling that only Fili’s proximity could awake inside of him. And Kili let himself get lost. One song followed the other as the night grew old. They kept dancing; despite what Fili had said earlier, he never stepped back, if possible he moved closer with every single song, golden hair slowly escaping the confines of his braids.

When the notes of the last song faded away and the musicians began to put away their instruments, dawn was breaking outside and they were almost alone in the tavern. Kili had the impression his heart had dilated over the night, expanding so much that his chest felt too small to contain it all. Fili’s hands were still on him, his brother’s eyes intent.

“This was…”

Kili’s throat suddenly felt too tight. There were so many things he wished Fili would say, and yet he knew all too well that sentence wouldn’t end with what he wanted to hear – _I love you too. I want to be with you._ He nodded quickly, trying to prevent Fili from going on and tainting the special night Kili had just spent, pretending that being held by his brother while they danced could mean something more. Fili’s hands tightened slightly on his hips and Kili cursed his brother’s perceptiveness. He always seemed to sense when something was wrong with Kili and this time there was no way Kili could openly tell him what the problem was. A fresh pain blossomed deep inside of him at the thought that he probably would never be allowed to share this part of his heart with Fili, the part that loved him dearly and so differently from how a brother should love.

“Kee…”

Kili forced himself to take a step back.

“Look, Fee…”

The words died in his throat as Fili’s fingers closed around his wrist. “We need to talk.”

Kili fell quiet at the determination in Fili’s voice; his brother didn’t often use that kind of tone with him and worry and hope entwined at the bottom of Kili’s stomach. Not even the cold winter air outside was enough to ease the burning of his body. Fili walked towards the wooden hut that was their home in Ered Luin. Snow kept falling and Kili stumbled slightly along the path, heart thumping blood out almost painfully fast. Fili stopped only when they reached the old oak tree in front of the house and even then he didn’t let go of Kili’s wrist. Snowflakes had nestled in his hair and in between his eyelashes. Kili couldn’t help thinking his brother was even more breathtaking like that, painted by nature itself. But Fili was also oddly silent, even though he had been the one who wanted to talk.

“Fee?”

Fili squeezed his eyes shut, as though hearing Kili saying his name was too much to bear. It hurt and it confused Kili even more.

“What is wrong with you, Fili? You wanted to talk and now you can’t even look at me?”

Fili’s eyes flew open at that, wide and worried.

“I…the problem is that I can’t seem to stop.”

Kili blinked, his hands twitching with the need to reach out at the broken and lost tone of his brother’s voice.

“What…”

“Didn’t…didn’t you realize while we were dancing?”

“Fee, I swear I…”

Fili didn’t give him the time to elaborate as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Kili’s ears rang louder than bells, his whole body shutting down and his senses narrowing to the feeling of Fili’s chapped and cold lips against his own. He had just begun to answer the kiss, when Fili pushed away.

“Kee, I am so sorry. I know I shouldn’t, I know, but…”

Kili shook his head in disbelief, joy crawling up his body, making him dizzy.

“You are an idiot.”

He pushed up against Fili, chest to chest, his hands finding their way through golden locks. Fili’s hands came up to his hips to steady him as their lips slid together, warmer and wetter now and all that Kili had ever dreamed of. When they broke for air, he made sure to keep his hands in Fili’s hair, holding him close, the tips of their noses brushing.

“Kee…”

“Shhh don’t say you’re sorry, Fee…”

“But…”

“I have dreamed of this, you know? For years. I never…I never thought you could want me too.”

Fili’s lips were gentle at the corner of his mouth.

“I’ll always want you.”

Kili kissed him again, then, snow falling like a caress over them, his heart bursting open in the tight circle of his brother’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave me prompts [here](http://bluecloudsupabove.tumblr.com/ask)


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